Understanding Your Cycle | The Rosewoman Library

The Monthly Rhythm

If you have a menstrual cycle, you have a monthly rhythm that affects far more than your reproductive system. Your hormones rise and fall in patterns that influence your mood, energy, cognitive function, libido, and even your immune system.

Many women never learned this. We’re told about periods but not about the sophisticated hormonal dance that underlies them—or how to work with it rather than against it.

Understanding your cycle is understanding your body’s operating system.

The Phases

A typical cycle is often described as 28 days, though anywhere from 21-35 days is normal. The cycle has distinct phases:

Menstruation (Days 1-5ish)

The shedding of the uterine lining. Estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest.

You might feel: Low energy, inward-focused, need for rest, possible cramping and discomfort.

Sexually: Desire is often lower, though some women feel heightened desire during their period. Orgasm can help with cramps.

Follicular Phase (Days 1-13ish)

Begins on day 1 (overlapping with menstruation) and continues until ovulation. Estrogen is rising.

You might feel: Energy increasing, mood lifting, more outward-focused, creative, social.

Sexually: Desire often builds as estrogen rises. Lubrication increases.

Ovulation (Day 14ish)

The release of an egg. Estrogen peaks, testosterone spikes briefly, and LH surges.

You might feel: Peak energy, heightened senses, most confident and attractive (literally—research shows people rate women as more attractive at ovulation).

Sexually: Many women experience peak desire around ovulation. Cervical mucus becomes slippery and stretchy (facilitating sperm).

Luteal Phase (Days 15-28ish)

After ovulation. Progesterone rises and peaks, then both estrogen and progesterone fall toward the end.

Early luteal: May feel calm, settled, nesting instincts.

Late luteal (premenstrual): As hormones drop, many women experience PMS symptoms—mood changes, irritability, bloating, fatigue, breast tenderness, anxiety, depressed mood.

Sexually: Desire often decreases as progesterone dominates. Some women feel most interested in gentle, nurturing intimacy.

Desire Across the Cycle

Desire typically follows a pattern:

Lowest: During menstruation and late luteal phase
Rising: During follicular phase
Peak: Around ovulation
Variable: During early luteal phase

This pattern is driven primarily by estrogen and testosterone. Understanding this can help you and your partner anticipate natural fluctuations rather than taking them personally.

When Cycles Start Changing

In perimenopause (often starting in the early 40s), cycles begin to change:

Length changes: Cycles may become shorter, then longer, then irregular.

Flow changes: Periods may become heavier or lighter, longer or shorter.

Ovulation changes: You may not ovulate every cycle, which changes the hormonal pattern.

Symptom changes: PMS may worsen or change character. New symptoms may appear.

These changes happen because the hormonal signals between brain and ovaries become less coordinated. The predictable rhythm becomes unpredictable.

Tracking Your Cycle

Tracking helps you understand your own patterns:

What to track:

Day 1 of period
Flow (light, medium, heavy)
Physical symptoms (cramps, headaches, breast tenderness)
Mood and energy
Libido
Cervical mucus (if relevant for fertility awareness)
Sleep quality
Any other patterns you notice

Methods:

Apps (Clue, Flo, many others)
Paper calendar
Journal

Over a few months, patterns emerge. You start to predict: “Ah, I always feel anxious two days before my period” or “My desire peaks around day 12.”

Working with Your Cycle

Once you understand your patterns, you can work with them:

Schedule demanding tasks for high-energy phases (typically follicular and ovulation).

Allow for rest during menstruation if possible.

Anticipate premenstrual changes rather than being blindsided.

Plan for intimacy during higher-desire phases if you want to optimize.

Communicate with partners about what to expect when.

This isn’t about being ruled by your hormones—it’s about intelligent collaboration with them.

When There Is No Cycle

After menopause, the monthly rhythm ends. Hormones stabilize at lower levels without the cyclical pattern.

Some women experience this as loss—the rhythm that shaped their monthly experience is gone. Others experience it as relief—no more PMS, periods, or monthly variability.

The transition itself (perimenopause) is often the hardest, as the rhythm becomes chaotic before it ceases.

Honoring the Rhythm

For all its inconveniences, the menstrual cycle is a remarkable system—a monthly renewal that connects you to deep biological rhythms.

Learning its language helps you understand yourself. And that understanding is power.

Go Deeper

These are the original writings this entry draws from: